56-SCHOOLING IN SKIRTS

Keep taking your tablets. They'll make you feel better and keep you in shape."

"So... what happens now?"

"Just continue to be careful. Keep up the proper appearances ... date that boy 'J.J.' once in a while, but don't let him discover the truth." (Obviously, I thought.) "I think you could wear pants once in a while now. Your figure has developed to the point where you're certainly not going to look masculine in a pair of jeans, as long as your mannerisms continue to be feminine ..." Robin continued, but I was only half paying attention.

I suddenly realized that I didn't know HOW to act like a boy anymore! I was so used to wearing skirts and makeup, walking and talking like a typical teenaged female, that I had forgotten how I used to act before the Halloween dance!

66

I'll talk to Kathy and convince her that you've outgrown your 'tomboy' phase, so you can start wearing pants again. But remember, the makeup and the other things about you that say 'girl' have to continue."

I found, much to my surprise, that the long period of time that I'd spent wearing skirts made wearing jeans a new and odd experience. I found myself missing the sensation of the breeze against my legs when I walked ... so much so that I continued to wear miniskirts to class four out of five days every week. I liked my slim waist and curved hips looked in skirts. I found my whole attitude changing as I realized that Robin was right. I had spent nearly six months living full-time as Danielle, and I was becoming more content with my female self-image. Chris, meanwhile, was growing even closer, lessening my fears that she'd find a "real" boyfriend. Susan had long ago stopped caring what gender I lived in, although we were slowly becoming friends again. Her boyfriend, Jim, tried flirting with me a few times, but Chris finally told him that she was going to tell Susan if he kept it up, so that ended fairly quickly.

CONTEMPORARY TV FICTION -57

I wondered how my once healthy maleness had been so easily converted into a fresh vibrant femininity.

The real problem was still J.J. He asked me to go to the prom with him the first day of ticket sales, and continued to press me for an answer at least every other day. (Naturally, I would have loved to take Chris, but... two girls, going together, in fancy evening dresses? The scandal would have been monstrous!) It was Chris who finally decided for both of us. I would go with J.J., and she would help make me look extra beautiful for the occasion. I felt guilty about leaving her behind for the evening, until she volunteered to be on the prom committee "just so I can keep an eye on you," as she put it, giggling.

Chris helped me pick out my prom dress, but I think I nearly drove her crazy trying on practically every gown in every store in the mall. When we both finally decided on a strapless pink chiffon dress with endless ruffles, I think Chris was more relieved to be done with the process than I was, and we were both amazed that I found a pair of shoes to match in the first store we stopped in!

The afternoon leading up to the prom was both the most exciting and nerve-wracking day of my life. I had spent most of the morning having my hair styled ... and I had the salon lighten it a shade while I was there. Then Chris insisted on taking me to a manicurist to have my already feminine nails tipped and polished. Looking at my hands afterward, I realized that I was proud of my newly-lengthened pink fingernails and that I was looking forward to showing off my new, even blonder, hairstyle that night.

Back home, as Chris applied a facial mask to prepare for what she promised would be "the most beautiful makeup job you've had in your life," I dozed off, dreaming of being the sexiest, prettiest girl at tonight's affair. Not that long ago, it would have been a nightmare to me: A boy, dressed in an elegant floor-length gown and high heels, with upswept blonde hair, a beautifully made-up face and long, polished nails, capturing the attention of every male in the ballroom. Now, rather than waking in horror, I found myself enjoying the dream and looking forward to the real ex-